Post Break-Up >>> Pre Met-Up

How are ya doing everyone... Hope you all are doing fine ^^

Today I'm going to share a little bit of the time between my break up and the new person I am with today. Although it was only a short one month plus, God has shown me miracles when I least expects =P

Note: X = My ex-

The day the words came again, and for the third time throughout those 2 years. I knew it was once too many already and things have to come to a stand, once and for all. Little did I know I was not as prepared as I was for the truth.

"我们分手吧..." For me, these words should never appear in one's mind when in a relationship, let alone say it out. These 5 simple words mean a lot and hurts even hell lot more. The insecurity it has brought me led me to my decision that what has been said should no longer be allowed to be taken back. I forgave the first 2 times but I guess I wanted to teach X a lesson. It was then all hell broke loose...

I waited for X to realize the mistake made but within a week, all feelings for me were disposed. This was where I panicked. Within 2 weeks away to finals, I had lost my mood to concentrate, let alone study... How can this happen, what happened to the memories we had together for 2 years? Can one really let go of em that easily? I had many wild thoughts but I knew trust was essential in a relationship so till this day, I buy the excuse that long distance made X unable to feel my love. How weird it was that when I was in KL; and mind I am the kinda person who is more "sticky", so X demanded of personal space, and when I came to Singapore, I was told my affection was not felt much. This was despite the fact of daily msg-es and video calls, not to mention X telling it is not neccessary to call everyday, saying I was being bothersome? Haiz, words definitely hurt more than anything else.

So during the remaining month I was in Singapore, I gave in my 150% in mending the relationship, all to no avail. It ended up with "Stop calling or msg-ing me or I will run far far away..." I can only imagine how many times more can my heart shatter before I give up on life. Of course, that day never came, if not I wouldn't be here. Anyway, I was then desperately finding someone who would appreciate me. The 2 years has made me fearful of loneliness, that it was driving me crazy. Looking high and low, I got to know a few to my liking but somehow there are things missing and I just knew they weren't for me. Adding up with the tensions of the finals, I am lucky that I have amazing friends who supported me, who cared for me. They are the ones that helped me through those dark hours and in maintaining my sanity. To them, I salute and give me utmost gratitude. Thank God for bringing them into my life of course =)

Then the time for me to return to KL drew near, so I found a contact employment to keep myself busy and in hope to prevent me breaking down, especially since my friends would be far far away from me. Many called me hardcore and crazy because 2 days upon returning to Kl, 4 days upon finishing my finals, my employment started. Little did they know the reasoning behind it. This time round, I came back to KL, telling myself I would not start another long distance relationship, and I repeatedly reminded myself that not everyone can endure this kind of hardship. The first 2 weeks was of course the worst as many memories flooded my thoughts.

Everywhere I go, everything I see, hear, smell and taste... I see X in them. During the 2 years we were together, memories were planted everywhere we went. And since I am the one with better memory, they brought more pain to me than ever, the very things that used to put a smile on my face. Now, only a rememberance that we are no longer together. Everytime I think of X, a msg was promptly sent, telling X of the good times we had together. Oh, I left out,  X told me X was in a relationship for nearly 2 month already, by now and so told me not refrain sending X msg-es in case the boyfriend sees it.

Little by little I started letting go, and instead I concentrated on making more friends to fill the emptiness within me. I was starting to find fun in life once again as I chit-chatted with friends. There was one in particular who I fancied here, and although the feelings was mutual, I felt that long distance wasn't a thing for this person. I frequently asked friends out for outing to fill up the empty times I had during weekends... and this was when I finally met... my 宝贝

watch out for the next episode, where I tell the encounter I had that led to the new chapter of my life, today...  =)